For those who take life too seriously!!

I went thru this, sometime back, n they all seem to be true facts that we mostly oversee (sometimes intentionally :-p). Might sound old to some of you, but hey, any day, any time old wines taste better

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is, like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
10. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
11. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
12. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
13. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
14. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
15. Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back.
16. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
17. Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
18. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
19. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
    
20. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. [Objection overruled!!]
21. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
22. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
23. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
24. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
25. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
26. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
27. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
28. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. [A damn god one!!]
29. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
30. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
31. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
32. Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade!
33. Plan to be spontaneous – tomorrow.
34. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
35. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand…
36. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
37. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.