21G (Part I – 8:30 a.m.)

Hi… Long time no c Wogay!! This time I’m going to write about something that gave me the necessary boost in confidence to kick off my race in the Corporate Ladder. N it’s ‘A day in 21 G’. The HR part of the first technical interview I’ve ever attended on earth was testing my potential to write creatively (which was one of my hobbies, as per my resume). The interviewer casually gave me a paper, a pen and 10 minutes (How generous o him!!) to write about something – in detail – that has created an impact on me. Aha!! I cudn’t ve asked for anything better!!(I mean it). So there I go, writing about the most recent one – A travel all the way from Chrompet towards the Sheher!! I am not reproducing the exact words that defined my destiny, but then the stuff n structure of it, is the same. The original one wasn’t THIS long. That must ve gone without saying. The one yo are seeing here is the detailed version of wot I finished in a few lines. So, here we go )))))))

N to save you from getting a feel of reading a llllllooooooonnnggg RC (as in the CAT, GRE, GMAT, etc) I’m breaking it up into 6 parts. N daz the best I could do

8:30 a.m. :

Oh boy!! How long am I to wait here! While my lips were gradually turning into a sine curve between 0 and 180 degrees, Presto!! The hero of the day turns up – the ever crowded 21G, that has become a part and parcel of every South Madrasi’s life.

 

For all the hypes around me, I dunno if I wud ever use the public transport THIS frequently in my life, but I’m enjoying every second of it. Time and again, I dint get a seat to sit down (I’ve heard about people who travel all the way from Chromepet to Tambaram, that is on the other end of their destination, juz to fetch a seat).

 

I was even checking if any guy was sitting in the ladies seat so that I cud ‘annex’ what was supposed to be a woman’s basic right. (As put forth by a typical 21 G user – the honorable gigantic auntie who chews paan always) Tough luck, there too!!

 

Oh, Yep!! The tickets!! Lucky me!! The conductor came all the way to gimme my ticket to Anna University. (Mute)‘Thank yo conductor saab. Yo saved some of my energy!! May yo become a superstar.’ (‘unmute’)

21G (Part II – 8:35a.m.)

8:35 a.m. :

Cmon!! This is going to be interesting. The next step is to find a right place to stand. Perplexed?? Lemme explain.

 

Suppose Your destination is Kaliappa hospital. Where do yo stand?? Near a college gal [whoz seated, of course], wid a crossbag(N preferably wid the dark green Anna University tag too) to improve your chances of getting a seat at Anna University. Or if the stars of luck are smiling upon yo, may be in Guindy itself.

 

But put it the other way round!! Yo wanna get down at Anna University!! Would yo, by any means, stand near the typical maami – whoz very appearance screams loud that she wud be getting down only at Mylapore Tank n definitely NOT b4 that? Ha, f yo do it, I cud very well ask you “Oorukku pudhusa??” [New to this place, huh??] This is called common sense, daz VERY essential to travel in 21G. (As a matter of fact, to survive in Chennai)

 

One last note on this!! This needn’t be true always. But this approach has proven fail-safe to me.

21G (Part III – 8:37 a.m.)

8:37 a.m.: (Coz two minutes is all yo cud take to decide the right place to stand. Getting to that spot gracefully w/o being cursed isn’t a big deal!! It juz requires practice!!)

The mazaa starts exactly here. Give your bag (and other things that yo r holding)*, to the lady seated nearest. Yo hafta add the customary ‘Idha konjam pidichikkireengala please??‘(Can yo hold this for sometime, please??). Phir kya!! Yo are quite free for sometime while standing!! Kewl Naa!!

*(RULE OF THUMBS: Yo shudn’t carry more than one medium sized bag in 21G, especially in the green ones that cost least, because, YO CAN’T)

Now yo start observing ppl around!! 21G has a really interesting set of ‘customers’. Yo cud get a better glimpse of em while standing.

• The timid looking gal who uses carefully hidden pocket knives to safeguard herself from the dirty Romeos behind.
• The braver looking gal who actually keeps moving uncomfortably, in the same scenario [Was she timid or was she juz maintaining her semblance of dignity? God knows!]
• The Red Hills going, paan chewing auntie, who comes to her rescue.
• The guy who cudn’t reach his tie to loosen it (Yo are askin me why?? Crowd yaar, crowd!!)
• Not to forget, a hodgepodge of schoolboys, guys and uncles who are dangling near the steps as a result of the conductor’s ‘Ladies nikkaranga illa!! Vazhi vidunga pa!!’ (‘Don’t yo see the women standing there?? Let them in!!’). Poor saab!! He doesn’t know that even women love dangling near the steps, AT TIMES
• The familyman who blames the unaffordable rates of ‘Deluxe 21G’ and how its ‘Express’ counterpart was far far better than this, only to recoup the conductor’s “Apram enyaa erreenga?” ["So, why do you take this bus, then?"]
• Newbies who seek out the nearer ones’ help to reach their destination. It’s an exemplary instance of ‘The Madrasi hospitality phenomenon’. Yo juz ask only question, “Excuse Me!! XXX stop vandha solreengala??“(Excuse Me?? Can you in4m me when we reach XXX stop?). In return, yo get to know all the stops en route(Socializing?!?! Wowwie!!) So 2 speak, the first time yo travel in 21G, the farther the destination, the better!!
• People balancing themselves during 21G’s famous ‘sudden brake phenomenon’ that occurs despite the bus moving at a pace slightly gr8er than that of a tortoise.
• Young guys and galz (mostly college going ppl) wearing headsets, and shaking their heads with a gamut of varying speeds. All thanks to Apple, and the Mobile Industry. (FYI, the writer belongs to this category too So does that mean that I shake heads,too?? Much worse!! I sing out loud… Hehehe)

21G (Part IV – 8:50 a.m. )

8:50 a.m.:

Oh hey, on that last note, I was almost drenched into the music that my mobile’s memory card was showering into my ears. But I lllllllluv doin it in 21 G for another peculiar reason thou. Yo ll know it soon I was hearing the ARR number, Kabhi Kabhi Aditi 4m Jaane Tu yaa Jaane Naa. Thou it’s one of my recent favorites, I was saving it for today evening (Wot if I need Imran Khan to console me, that evening, just in case I flunk??). So lez hear the bluffmaster number. After all, at the end of the day, wot matters in an interview is whether yo are one of the better bluffmasters, out there

roozi bood aasheqat boodam
az daste to kheyli excuse me oru kannaki
selato ba’d sheytooni kardi
nazdike man nayaa to

boro, boro, delam toraa, toraa namikhaahad
vazhi vazhi vazhi. Thalli nilluma
boro, boro, delam toraa, toraa namikhaahad
digar, digar, namikhaaham bebinamat
(Lady1:)Ulla poi nilluma, inga nikka mudiyutha??
(Lady 2: )Angaye nillunga. Naangalum adjust pannithan nikrom
bure bure ham ham ham shaitaan
zara zara thagna re hamse

Shaba say shaba!! Shaba say oru 3 rupee ticket

roozi bood aasheqat boodam
az daste to kheyli raazi boodam
ammaa to ba’d sheytooni kardi
dele man 1 Red Hills

Chilrey chilrey aasheqat boodam
az daste to kheyli raazi boodam
Guindy ellam velila vandhudunga
nazdike man nayaa to

Bure bure ham ham ham shaitaan
zara zara bachna re hamse
bure bure ham ham ham shaitaan
zara zara thagna re hamse
(Whistles) Guindy Guindy Guindy
bure bure ham ham ham shaitaan
zara zara thagna re hamse

((Beats)) wid Hey!! Hey!! N Hey!!

boro, boro, delam toraa, toraa 2
adyar gate bebinamat
boro, boro, 3 beach um
digar, digar, namikhaaham bebinamat
boro, boro, delam toraa, toraa namikhaahad
digar, digar, namikhaaham bebinamat
Hey Hey Bhachao ji!! (N the famous Bluffmaster beat)

(I’m sorry if yo ve been misguided by the part-tamil-part-persian lyrics. Ppl might find an actual translation here.)

21G (Part V – 9:10 a.m.)

9:10 a.m. :

Phew!! The stars of luck are smiling upon me, indeed!! I got a seat at Guindy. Derz only one more stop to go. But still, a place to sit, is the best 21G could give you!! So why ditch Santa Claus’s gift? N this didn’t last long.

An old, weak lady was standing pathetically. Poor thing!! Like any of my fellow travelers wud ve done, I offered her my place to sit. After all, it’s her basic right too

And, there goes the little, heartfelt eulogy, that’s one of 21G’s unparalleled fortes. “Nee Maharaasi ya irukkanum ma. Indha kaalathula ethana perukku indha manasu varum??” [This encomium roughly translates to "May yo live longer(like a Maharaasi). How many people could ve such a noble heart nowadays?"].

While I was wondering what exactly a Maharaasi meant (for all I know, it’s an expression of praise), the lady went on, “Aana kaadhula sevittu machine maattina pillaingathaan ipdiyellam udhavuthunga. Paravaalla!!” ["But nowadays it is youngsters with hearing aids (In case you din't get it, that's my headset yaar ) who help oldies wholeheartedly. Not Bad!!"] Is that a compliment or a brutal sarcasm? Now wot am I to do? Accept the compliment part of ‘the eulogy’ alone or cast a nasty look on her?? STUMPED!!

Before I cud react, Baaaassshhhhhhhh!!!

21G (Part VI – 9:20 a.m.)

9:20 a.m. :

A flat tyre!! Kewl!! That’s the last thing I could ve asked on earth. But hey, Take one left turn and there I am (the intended destination that is going to make/break my day!). That being said, I needn’t get the conductor’s signature at all. Yet I just couldn’t get past the crowd that wants his ‘autograph’. ( Ppl who use the public transport frequently, would know the worth of this signature)

(Mute agn) Conductor saab!! Yo might not become a superstar!! But still yo can sign autographs. So THAT makes you a half-superstar (‘Unmute’)

Aahhh!! If only I could Apparate!!

After a 2 (precious) minute struggle, I made my way to CEG thru a share auto, to avoid the chances of my turning up late to the interview. The share auto was quiet, unlike the hussle-bussle of 21G, that’s a moving abode of enormous amount of new, interesting people. May be, was it that, which made the 21G, a friend that Chennaiites love to rebuke, yet could never forsake it to most other modes of transport?? Definitely, may be!!

N hey, I dunno if the sarcastic eulogist (Aye! The sweet, old granny!) had her day. But the lil Maharaasi did, for reasons too many.